The Repair Rite

Who this rite is for

The man carrying shame, unresolved conflict, or relational damage.

The rite — open the protocol

Identify one person harmed by your avoidance, anger, neglect, or dishonesty. Not the person who harmed you — the one you harmed. That choice is the threshold.

Daily forge actions (30 days)

1. Name the behaviour — specific, no euphemism.
2. Name the impact — their experience, not your intention.
3. Apologise without excuse, state the repair action, and do not demand forgiveness.

The clean apology (template)

• “I've been thinking about how I handled [situation]. I was wrong to [behaviour]. I can see it affected you by [impact]. I'm sorry. I'm not asking you to make me feel better. I will [repair action].”
• The Unsent Anger Letter: write the full charge you're carrying; do not send it; extract what is yours to own.

The weekly review

Where do I still lead with defence? What am I protecting by not apologising? Whose repair is overdue?

The completion rite

One real repair conversation held, and the 24-hour repair rule adopted as a standing practice. Behaviour change is the proof — words open the door, conduct walks through it.